I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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