Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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