Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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