If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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