I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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