So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize