DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
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