you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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