Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize