I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize