so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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