hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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