good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
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He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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