Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
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Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
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are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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