this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
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I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
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And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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