I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize