he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
How external is "for external use only"?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize