May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
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i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
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why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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