I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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