Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize