Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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