quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize