remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize