Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the knife in your bed.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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