Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
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I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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