I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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