you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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