Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
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Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
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Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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