Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
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There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
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HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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