Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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