Will you blow on my dice?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
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What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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