I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize