No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
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I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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