there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
this will be a night to untag.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize