I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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