jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize