last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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