I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My feet surprised me
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize