That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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