Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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