No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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