I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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