he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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