these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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