were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize