You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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