do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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