my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize