So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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