there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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